First challenge weigh tonight!

Tonight is my first weigh in with my challenge group. I was 175 last week and I'm a little afraid I will be more than that tonight. Yikes! I've only kept around or under my calorie goal 3 out of the last 7 days! Crap! I know it's kinda like cheating, but I am starving myself until weigh in today...ssshhhh! And i'm wearing lighter weight clothes tonight too! again...ssssshhhhhh! This sadly is the most I have ever weighed in my life. :( Aside from the birth days of my children. And even then I was barely above this weight . Oh well....time to get motivated!

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad post!

This month has been terrible! I quit smoking Jan 21st (that's good, but the cravings SUCK!) My dog died on Feb 3rd :( It was horrible! The first 3 days I cried non stop, now I'm down to one good cry a day. I joined a weightloss challenge! I've done very bad at eating right this week and I think I'll be paying a few dollars for the pounds I've gained at this weeks meeting! I got my taxes back, and spent most of it already on horrible fast food and some no good credit card debt. I have lost NO weight! I have done NO exercise except for 3 hours of walking through a Sportsman's Expo with my hubby and dad. I'm feeling a little depressed and overly emotional. Too many things at once I guess.

It's time to buck up and get my fat a$$ back on the wagon and my life back on track! I've said it before (and I'm sure I'll say it again) but I'm done being fat and unhealthy! Where is my motivation fairy? Why is it so damn hard? I've been pretty much doing nothing for the last 30 days. It's just so easy to stay in a funk once I get started. Well I'm done with the funk and the fat and the food (any other 'f' words I should put in here?) Ok, I'm done with the rant....again.


My pledges for the day!
I pledge to post a blog again, Tomorrow! I pledge not to smoke, Today! I pledge to exercise, Tonight! I pledge to not eat over my calories, Today!   One day at a time!

Sick and Tired....

...of being sick and tired! This is the 2nd cold I've had this winter. Last month it was the stomach flu that made it's rounds about my house. Doesn't this virus know how hard it is to exercise when it is clogging up my head and chest? Not to mention my body feels like I've just run a marathon after only walking up the stairs. :( I hate everything about the winter months. I hate cold, sickness, dark short days, and especially being stuck inside all the time. UGH... sorry just needed to rant for a minute. Boohoo! I am soooo looking forward to March! Only 2 more months to go...

Starting a clean New Year!

Along with losing weight and becoming "physically" healthy this year, I also have goals to become emotionally healthy. For me, my emotional health has a big part to play in how well I am phyically. And my home life decides most of my emotions. If my house is calm, clean, organized and bright, I feel GOOD! If my house is cluttered, dirty, gloomy, and loud I feel BAD! It's not an easy task, keeping my house "happy". I have 2 boys. One is a preschooler. He is hyper and has a wonderful imagination. The only problem with his imagination is that my couch cushions and pillows become his fort, my clean (folded) laundry pile is his ammo against the dark forces, my bathroom is his personal beach at bathtime, my walls are his canvas, the dog food bowl is the perfect place to make frog eye soup....it goes on and on. I love him, I love his excitement, and his neverending joy of life. What I do not love is the constant cleaning. I try to get him to keep it in his room, I've tried to teach him the fine art of getting his trash into the trash can and keeping the crayon on the paper. We are making a little progress now. He started preschool this year and is learning about responsibility. He will usually clean up after himself after being told about 10 or 20 times. Now, my 9 year old son is another story. He is 9 going on 30. He is past the point of imagination. He runs the show, or so he thinks. He has impulsive type ADHD. He is a genius in school, a master of all sports and just earned his yellow belt in martial arts. BUT, try getting the kid to hold still during a movie, or actually "sit" at the dinner table. I wouldn't call him "lazy" but like most 9 year olds, the thought of making his bed, doing his homework or putting his toys away is worse than murder. The important things in his life are his video games and friends. My happines is not even on the list! I have made my mistakes as all parents do. I have done everything for my children. From day one, mommy was at their beck and call. Not anymore. I don't want to be the "evil mommy dearest", but I know for all of our sake, my children need some responsibility. I just can't do it all. So this week, I am cleaning out my house and my life. I'm getting rid of all the clothes "i might fit in some day", I'm getting rid of clutter and junk, and I'm giving my kids chores! AGGGHHH the dreaded word. Don't get me wrong. My kids help when they are threatened, but I don't want it to be that way. We all need to changes some habits! I feel overwhelmed. I work 8 hours a day, come home, do laundry, pick up, homework, pick up, dinner, dishes, pick up some more, baths, pick up and bed! I literally do not sit down (other than dinner) between 4 and 9 PM! My husband "usually" helps out, but he is also exhausted after working all day. Well this post strayed a little from where I planned on it ending up. My point is, a happy clean home makes for a happy mom! And a happy mom has more energy, motivation, and excitement to become a thin, healthy mom!

So far 2012 is off to a great start! How is yours going?

So glad this year is over

Wow I totally sucked this year! I sucked at exercising, eating healthy, budgeting, organizing, and well....pretty much everything I set my mind to way back on Jan 1 2011! Why? More than likely it is because I am just too damn lazy. I'm not going to sit here and kick myself, but the truth is the truth no matter how much sugar you put on it. Obviously I have a serious lack of motivation. Now, some of that definitely has to do with the season. I hate winter! I love the warm sun and green everything of summer! I get cabin fever about this time every year. I want to sit in front of the TV with hot chocolate, cheese and crackers, hot pizza (everything else I shouldn't have) wrapped in a blanket and hibernate until March 1st! I need change!

Here is a little catch up, since I've also been too lazy to post on my blog for ohhhh about 2-3 months! Since August of 2010 I have gained back all 15 lbs that I lost that year and even accumulated an extra pound or 2 or...ok 5! I am at my highest weight ever right now! While I am not technically obese, I am overweight! I am unhappy and uncomforatble. Why was it so easy in 2010? In 15 weeks I lost 15 lbs. But this year I just couldn't do it. Well, enough of the past. It's time to look at the future. I do not make resolutions, but I do have goals for the coming year. Not just for my weight, but for the health of my life in general. The health of my family, home and relationships.

-I WILL organize my home and life
-I WILL work harder at losing weight and watching what I put into my body
-I WILL exercise!

I hope all of your (and my) goals/resolutions/hopes will become realities this coming year!